Wednesday

My one free evening this week, will rehearse.  Sometimes I feel like part of my brain was raptured and the rest of me returns to the scene of departure and wonders what I was doing and why I stopped in the middle of the process and wandered off.  Overloaded.

Wish I had the time and money to take another class along with this one, to complement the process.  I think I need to start getting up and doing physical theatre stuff when I wake up early, I'm too much in my head again and the reason I'm even doing this now is because of the physical work (both in biomechanics and singing) I did last winter that woke up the idea in me it's possible to find all the stuff I hadn't been able to access through my thoughts, in my body.  Even if I just start with fifteen minutes that's something.  I'm feeling so much resistance, and my center of gravity is creeping up.  It'll help.  (It's easier being responsible to someone, but I'll have to find some strong inner motivation to overcome my inherent inertia.)

I was reading Esper on the bus this morning and one of the exercises had me in tears, I was sitting in one of those side-facing seats, kept having to wipe my cheek, but kept reading.  Then I was trying to think about what I lost (for the scene) and that made me teary, will see if I can actually pull that into the rehearsal process.  Esper says something interesting about objectives, that it's like knowing where you are going, and you have that knowledge to guide you, but you don't need to keep thinking about it.  We haven't actually gotten to objectives yet, perhaps I should stop reading further.  Maybe I should buy it.

The freezing nights bring starry skies, fluffy birds, sparkly mornings.