Blur

Feel like I've been going just on muscle memory lately.  If I didn't think too hard about the music tonight, I could sing it, if I tried to make sense of it, I got lost...we had a lot of new music to go through and some of it was challenging (Britten, for one, couldn't tell you what the rest of it was, everything is a blur.)  Also, I keep getting second, and I like singing first, I like the high notes, but I suppose it's good for my brain to find the notes for the second part.  I stayed late at work to lock up after a meeting, and then went to pick up my mail (been trying to get there for over a month) and was early back to rehearsal, so went and had some coffee nearby until the doors were unlocked.  I ordered an eggnog latte, and while it tasted good, I couldn't taste the eggnog, and I was trying to figure out what the sweet/bitterness was, I knew I recognized it, but couldn't put my finger on it.  Much later I figured out that what I was tasting was a darn good pull of espresso, which then made me realize that I haven't had a good cup of coffee (or espresso) in a really long time.  That man knew what he was doing.

We only have two more rehearsals before Christmas...I feel like it was just Halloween, time just flying by.  When I come up for air enough, I force myself to walk through the decorated parts of town.  I enjoy the season, but I feel so unconnected to it right now.  It makes me happy to look at the lights and the trees and listen to the music, but then I forget again.  It's been a crazy year.  The folk choir has two events over the next two Saturdays, but they decided to give us Monday night off...unexpected, and I'm grateful: we have to present our scenes for class the next night.

Gonna go to a show tomorrow night, but aside from all that, my brain is blocking out any other commitments.  Overwhelmed, again...my memory and problems solving ability seems to just shut down, just to basic survival things.  Curious.  It's supposed to be really cold tomorrow night, it was already going to be cold (in the low 20's), but now predicted to be windy as well.  That'll be fun.  Need to remember to wear enough, it was my face and toes that felt the brunt of the chill last night.

Memorization.  And Christmas music time.