Waiting

Well, guess my Holga really is toast. I think only a couple of pictures on two rolls of film came through without a flare. Such a shame. My regular camera has flare issues as well. The only one that doesn't is the Yashica I damaged the mirror on, maybe it can be fixed. 

Holga shot/L Herlevi 2013

Left the house at 10:30 this morning to run an errand and then go meet a friend, then ran other errands which involved more waiting (for the film scanning to be done), so just getting home now. It's pretty warm out. For the last few hours, all I wanted to do was get home and look at the neg scans. Constant sound of sirens all day, there's more now. My friend mentioned that instructor is probably calling me out on the things because once you've been teaching for a while, you can see what each student needs to work on. She's a teacher, too. After talking to her, I also convinced myself that if I ever do get in another relationship, there really can't be any substance (maybe a little drinking) use, I'm just too co-dependent to be healthy there. Would be destructive for me, as I'm just starting to take care of me, and figuring out what I want. I've spent most of my life taking care of other people emotionally, I just can't carry the weight anymore. I don't really want to (it was killing me. I was just numb and empty for years. And I'm not now, and I don't want to go back.) Plus, when I'm with someone, I want them to be with me. To be present, especially if that time is limited.  This might mean that I stay single.

Now I'm waiting to see if the casting for the September show has been posted yet. And I need to contact someone from the clown class regarding what we have to do for Sunday, we have to do a partner routine, without rehearsing. I'll have to look into the scholarship audition material, too. See what I need to get prepared. It's a group audition, the only thing we do alone is a monologue. Gonna go check that email now. Ciao.

Nope, no casting. But the other class agreed to buy something. Kinda' a fun email thread. Maybe I'll go out again and get ice cream while I wait. Was gonna mow the weeds, but it's too hot, still.