Later

Had to go home during lunch because I forgot part of my clown outfit. Somehow zoned out on the bus during the final 15 blocks to my stop and missed it, became aware of surroundings as we turned the corner and pulled up to a stop near my house, luckily someone else had pulled the cord: I was watching the buildings, trying to figure out where I was and realized I had already gone passed my stop. Got off and walked back. I've never missed my stop before. I wasn't even tired.

I called the landlord about the yellow jackets earlier today. When I walked up to the house, they were at least flying 20 feet away from hive, and over the sidewalk, so I used the other door. Nothing had been done to mark it off (not surprised that they haven't done anything. They should, they could get sued if someone has a bad reaction to a bite.) If I remember, I'll try to find some sidewalk chalk and mark it that way. I don't want to get close to the hive. It's weird. It's like they appeared suddenly, I don't remember seeing any even a couple days ago when I watered, and now there are hundreds.

And I've been thinking about the scene, I hope I can do it justice. Some of the dialogue is so absurd, it's hilarious. At this point, I can't even read it without tears streaming down my face because I'm laughing so hard. Complete cluelessness on the part of my character.  It'll be fun. (As long as I can play it seriously.)

One class left now. It's after midnight, I ate, but won't shower (which is gross, but...it's late, I'm tired and I want to get enough sleep.) My favorite exercise that we did was the last one which involved a lot of stillness. I misunderstood it, was in the first group and did too much (it hadn't been explained much at that point.) I wanted to go again because the point was to do nothing and see what evolved, but we ran out of time. I want to see if I can do nothing and not be boring. It goes back to what we had talked about in the last class. I don't normally operate at higher emotional levels, and it does feel imposed when I do (though, admittedly, it's also fun to go there.) I often feel fake when I have to push it, I do it hoping I'll get to a point where it doesn't feel that way, where it's genuine.  I said I'd get my assignment emailed to him tonight, but I won't. Will have to write it in the morning. I'm not really thinking in complete sentences right now. (I couldn't remember what it had been and by the time a classmate emailed me back, I didn't have time to write it.) Shoot, I left half a slice of pizza in the studio when I exited tonight. Hopefully someone else tossed it.  I hope something has shifted inside me from all this. I'm not always certain.