What keeps me up at night

My shoulders are achy. I wonder if getting a massage would help or make it worse? I guess if it makes it better it's my posture (plus all those bags I've been dragging around) and not my immune system. It's hard to tell, my fear (always underlying, sometimes almost indetectable) is that things are progressing. For the past 6 1/2 years this has stayed in my right hand and wrist. I keep trying to come up with a career or job I can do to support myself if it gets worse, second jobs I used to be able to do, I can't anymore. I know there are plenty of jobs, I just don't know how I get into them. Most of the work I've done has been physical; I've never had a job that mostly used my mind, which is interesting. I don't know how to get those. Keeps me up at night, but then again, I've been trying to figure out what to do for a living since I moved away from home, long before this ever started. It's another one of my "blocks" (limited thinking) I'm trying to get through or around, maybe I should get a life coach. I'm thinking too narrowly. I'm not unique, everyone's got something.