Wednesday

It's my upper back that's sore, and my hair doesn't look that bad (it was wet and I had it wrapped up in a pajama shirt right before I fell asleep last night.) Must've been Day 8.

I meant to say that it's easier for me to be vulnerable physically than emotionally (on a "stage," in front of people.) Not easy, just easier...then there is making random sounds, that one's the hardest. And I'm saying, "Yes," when they ask (teachers) even if I'm afraid or feel resistance, unless it would be somehow hurtful or unproductive in the long run (I said, "no" to George once, but I don't necessarily think he expected me to do it, I think he was pushing at my limits, and he went in a different direction after that. I didn't get off of the hook. I did something else that scared me, and that was life-changing.  It has made me less self-conscious in other areas of my life.) I  trust they know what they are doing, and if I get through it, I'll arrive at a stronger, more clear, place.

On another, related note, maybe the most flattering thing you can do for someone is to really listen to them, to give them your full attention. How common is that now?  And it feels like attraction sometimes, even though maybe ten years ago, it was just a normal form of interaction. We're all so distracted now, seems rare when anyone really hears you.

It's starting to be cold in the mornings. I need to figure out where my hat got to, or get another one. If I get them all in, might actually do seven chair exercises before class.