Maybe laughing too much

I don't know if it's a form of hiding behavior or just that with different people you will have a different working energy, but there are two people I've been working with that I just laugh the whole friggin' time. And I sometimes feel kinda' bad about it, but it's what comes up.  Maybe we are avoiding things; or maybe we just need to laugh...and being able to laugh that much, regularly, is fairly recent for me (since Portugal).  There are a couple people that I usually end up crying with as well, they hit something routinely.  Every time I work with them (both the laughing and the crying) I have the same sorta' reactions. Will have to move beyond those things though, I imagine.

I ran into a friend on the bus yesterday, she asked why I was putting myself through all of this, I answered that I wanted to act.  But also, I think for most things that you want to do, it takes work or practice to get better at them; there's often a struggle as part of the learning process.  I do want to perform, but even if I never do (again), I'll be freer for all the work.

I think my trees are gone now.  On Monday, the arms were all removed, just the bare trunks remained.  I haven't been back since.