Thursday

Wednesday afternoon: legs getting very stiff. Tomorrow will be fun.

Not so bad, just the left leg, equally the quad and the hamstrings.  Went to a charity fair yesterday, a kick-off to the Combined Fund Drive. Again, as with the art event, felt like speed-dating, felt like I was one of a few attendees actually talking to the people at the tables. A bunch of new charities, or ones I didn't know about. I like meeting people. I was there for over an hour, which surprised me, ended up being my lunch break. I was hoping there would be food, but it was mostly just sweets, which I ate and then crashed at my desk a couple of hours later. Ended up with a  police t-shirt, a cupcake, and an offer to hold a kitten, which I declined because although it was adorable (and making a face of seemingly silent roars-I could hear it's voice if I put my ear to it's mouth) I had the cupcake in my hand. There are a lot of agencies I'd like to support: violence prevention, culturally relevant books to kids, farming start-ups, support for foster kids, horse therapy for veterans with PTSD, etc., I'll have to try to scrape up something this year.

So, the question is: why can I get emotional with that but have such a hard time with the chair exercises? Did three last night. I'll start to make progress and then lose it. I started to feel like a sociopath because I wasn't reacting, just repeating. And then I was trying to drop my center of gravity so I could be with the person across from me, but then that took me out of the moment because I was thinking about how to "drop my center of gravity." And then sometimes I just get lost in the other person, which I don't think is the point either. I also noticed that I can't look in both eyes at the same time, I have to choose one or the other...is that how it is for most people?

Reading the Bruce Lee book on the bus this morning, in this essay, he's talking about gung-fu, and Tao, but it totally relates to acting, and where we are trying to get with the Meisner work. He talks about unattachment of the mind and having a broad awareness of what's going on around you so you can respond to anything, rather than having a single-minded focus, that takes your awareness away from what else is going on. And you have to do that on stage, so it makes sense in a way for this work, too, since he was also an actor. Very cool.