Synchronicity

Having a silly bout of synchronicity. On Friday night I was listening to the radio, and there was a segment with Ian Doescher about his book "William Shakespeare's Star Wars, " where he wrote out the dialogue of Episode IV in iambic pentameter. Found the book on Saturday, and was reading it on the bus ride to class on Sunday morning, where I found out one of my classmates is doing a staged reading of it next Sunday. It's an enjoyable read.

Maybe my resistance is a fear of losing control; that if I go there, I won't find a way back out. A fear of all the voices that told me I was weak or a victim getting to be right, and I resist letting them be right, it's a superficial judgment, they didn't know me, much. There was always so much chaos in my life, I really fear losing control. I have to be able to, obviously, if I want to work in theatre. It's a safe place to do it. It's no longer my responsibility to hold the universe together, it never should have been in the first place. If my world collapses, then it does. (Easier said than done. Chaos=violence to me, and that terrifies me.) Fear of rejection of true self? Gotta let that one happen, too. This is the safest place I have to explore that.