Happy. Saw family for lunch. Spent most of the day driving, took an alternate road home, and missed out on a traffic jam. Beautiful sunset, if far too early (4 pm.)
I was thinking while driving, deciding to stand up for myself against the voices in my head. Yes, I'm bad with money (I give it away so easily), I am horribly disorganized, and I often drag my feet to change. Those things are true. But it's also true that if I love you (and oftentimes, even if I don't) I will go to the carpet for you; I look at the world; I listen, I'll listen to you, I'll hear you; I've got a big heart; I'm compassionate; I give a damn about the underdog; I'm funny; I'm interesting; I look at the big picture; I'm usually (not always, I'm human) fair; I try to see the good in other people; I'm intelligent; and I'm willing (sometimes grudgingly) to change my mind.
I mention this because I've valued my (lack) of money over what I do offer, thinking all other qualities were inferior. And while I hate not having money, that might always be the case, and my value as a human being who adds something to the world can't be dependant on that, or I'll never have value. And it's cruel to judge myself and hold myself back based on only that when I wouldn't do that to someone else. We all have worth simply by the fact that we exist.
Just a thought.
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