In a funk, venting

Been in some lousy funk all week. Woke up, still there. I don't think it's depression, just all the stress and facing up to reality and then mixed with others peoples' stress everything has just sorta' built up badly. At home the kitchen is disgusting (dirty dishes piled up for over a week), the bathroom's disgusting (but I'm hoping the mess means the bathroom sink was repaired, I've been asking them to fix the leak for 2 years, there's mildew everywhere, so if it was, I can deal with the mess, though I'm afraid to touch anything) and someone dumped their garbage everywhere, so I'll have to go clean it up, and I don't want to. I should get out of here and go for a long walk. Have to edit later, too. (The house stuff is typical roommate issues, but still, I don't want to deal with it. I want them to be responsible adults.)

Yes, moving should be an option, and I look now and again for something I can afford, that is close enough to work, or on bus lines where I can go out and do stuff at night and still get home.  Rents in this city are ridiculous. And I don't want to live in another city. I like this city, and since I'm a generalist, skill wise, my opportunities for a living wage job are higher in a city than somewhere else. I saw someone advertising studios for over $1,000 (or you can live in a parking spot size apartment for $600). They justify it by saying the apartments have "great amenities," but when your take home pay is less than $2000/month, not really affordable, especially not with first and last. I don't think you should have to spend half  your salary for a decent roof over your head. And if you have to work two jobs to pay the rent (I don't currently, but lots of people do, and I have in the past), who has time for amenities? I think the idea is that you should only be spending 1/4 to 1/3 of your salary on rent. If you were working full-time, making somewhere over minimum wage, your take-home pay would only be around $1280/month. I know in some places, that's a lot of money, but the cost of living here is high, transportation, food (in recent years, we were one of the most expensive cities for groceries in the US), utilities, rent, are all high, and that's if you don't get sick, 'cos health-care costs are really high. (Even with health insurance, I'll probably still be paying off my doctor bills from this past winter into the fall. And the throat's not better.)  And for societies to thrive you need all types of workers, not just tech workers. And all those lower wage workers need to live here, too. There are other good qualities that people have that benefit a neighborhood or a city besides wealth. It's just frustrating when shared-housing is torn down to build "luxury" apartments, where are all those displaced people supposed to go? Not a new problem. Seems to be accelerating again.

Here's the idea of balance again. Life should be about more than just trying to survive. I think we are here, alive, for more than that. And sometimes I feel like I'm wondering when I can breath again (financially).  Though maybe I'm alone in stressing about money. (And yes, I could pay my bills off before I take classes, but classes keep my hope alive that things could get better. And learning, expanding my life makes me feel good about myself and about life in general. And I'm starting to doubt that I will ever get my bills paid off. And I was gonna go to grad school to get a better job, but the debt freaked me out.) I apologize for this post. Getting new bills in the mail really stresses me out. I'll figure something out and get over it.